The Expendables 3 (2014) Review

"I need a job! All I know what to do is kill! Goddammit!" - Galgo.

According to the trailer, the Expendables are going on "one last ride", and so they decided to throw everything they had left at this third instalment in the series. The result is surprisingly less awesome than expected. Though there are some enjoyable moments here and there, this is probably the weakest entry in the series to date.

Sylvester Stallone is back as Barney Ross, and the film opens with him and the rest of the team on yet another mission. This time, it's to rescue Barney's old comrade Doc (Wesley Snipes), who along with Antonio Banderas' Galgo, is the most interesting of the team. Doc's calmness and slick fighting style makes you wish he was the focus of the film. Banderas, while involved more with the plot at a later point, is clearly having a blast in his role as the motor-mouthed Galgo, providing some good moments of humour along the way. Barney, however, is really uninteresting in this one, and not very likeable. Straight after Doc is rescued, he decides to break up the team after Caesar (Terry Crews) is fatally shot. It feels really forced and unnecessary, and the old team don't do anything else for the rest of the film until the final fight. Having disbanded the old team, Barney sets out to recruit a younger squad in order to take down the man who shot Caesar: ex-Expendable Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson). While I think the idea of having a younger team has potential, it really isn't used well here. After seemingly completed their mission, they are captured by Stonebanks' henchman, and it's up to the old team and Barney to rescue them. Simply put, they are merely a plot device, rather than developed characters that we care about, making them as expendable as the series' title.

Like The Expendables 2, the best thing about the film is the antagonist. This time, it's Mel Gibson, who gives the best performance as the unpredictable Stonebanks. My favourite moment comes when he gets so fed up with his team being unable to kill the Expendables that he gives a demonstration on his own men, shooting two of them. It reminds me of Jack Nicholson as the Joker in Batman (1989), and is a great piece of dark humour. Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as Trench and, although he's on screen longer than his previous two appearances, is underused. It's nice to see him have a bigger role, but why leave him out of most of the action? Speaking of being left out, Jet Li shows up out of the blue for a combined total of five minutes of screen-time. A renowned martial-artist, Li is used even worse than Schwarzenegger, with him being stuck in a helicopter firing a machine gun for his only action scene. A complete waste of a great talent and potential to have some awesome hand-to-hand combat moments. Harrison Ford is also in the film, and is the only one who should have been in that helicopter, as he is obviously less capable than someone like Jet Li to pull-off more physical scenes. As previously mentioned Snipes and Banderas at least mean there is some interest on the side of the heroes, just not enough for me to be invested in their plight. 

Upon it's release, The Expendables 3 garnered some controversy from fans over the lesser age certificate. The toning down of the violence in an attempt to appeal to a broader market meant that the film received a 12 certificate (PG-13 in the United States). For me, the toning down of the violence didn't matter a great deal, especially when looking back at the first film and how bad some of the CGI blood looks. However, I don't think it was entirely necessary to appeal to a wider audience, as everyone already knows what this series is about. When you watch an Expendables film, you know exactly what you're going to get. If shoot-outs, explosions and aged action stars spouting one-liners doesn't appeal to you, you aren't going to watch them, regardless of how violent or not they are. I should point out that there is an extended cut of the film available on home media, which has the rating bumped up to 15. So, if you're really curious, you can check that version out and see if it makes any difference.

So, for now, that concludes my review of The Expendables series. For what it's worth, all three films get the job done in terms of being an entertaining ride. Though are plenty of flaws throughout, they all deliver what action fans want, and are sure to be looked at with a good amount of nostalgia in years to come. Unless, of course, they continue this franchise and squeeze what ever else they can out of it.

Pros:
+ Gibson, Banderas and Snipes are all good fun in their roles.
+ Not as many self references as the previous films, very refreshing after The Expendables 2's overuse.

Cons:
- Uninteresting new cast, not developed enough for me to care if they survive. A real shame, as their performances are all decent.
- Underusing Schwarzenegger and (especially) Li.
- There is no ending. It just stops all of a sudden. Check that part out if you're interested in how not to end a film.

The Expendables 2 (2012) Review

"Who's next, Rambo?" - Trench.

The team is back with a new mission and a new director. Simon West takes the helm from Sylvester Stallone and proves to be the right choice, as he directs. with more style and fun. The Expendables 2 is a superior sequel in almost every department, leaving a more satisfactory after-taste to its craziness.

On what seems like a routine mission to retrieve a lost safe, the Expendables encounter a team of mercenaries. This team, lead by the hilariously named Jean-Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), take the contents of the safe for themselves after killing off the team's most expendable member, Liam Hemsworth. From there, Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) sets out on a new mission: stop Vilain from mining enough plutonium to "change the balance" of the world and avenge the death of their young comrade. As a follow-up to the original, the plot is even more simplified, and therefore doesn't waste any time in throwing us into the chaos. In between the multitude of action scenes, there is at least more focus on character development this time around. While not a lot of time is devoted to this, it is nice to get to know the team's emotional side more, as shown when new member Maggie (Nan Yu) talks to Barney about his life as a gun-for-hire. The team is together for a much longer period than the first film, meaning that we get more than what the original promised us, with them all being involved for more of the action.

One massive improvement in this film is the villains. Jean-Claude Van Damme steals this film, with his portrayal of Vilain having the right balance of menace and campiness. He's very unpredictable, at one point walking right into Stallone's line of fire, coaxing him into a one-on-one showdown. Sadly, the final encounter between Stallone and Van Damme is somewhat underwhelming. There's very little payoff to something with a good amount of tension between these characters, though it is nice to see Van Damme perform his famous "helicopter kick" twice. On the side of the heroes, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger return as Church and Trench respectively for more substantial roles: rescuing the team from a trap and joining forces to take down Vilain. Chuck Norris also makes an appearance and, of course, there is a reference to the now infamous Chuck Norris Facts. He too is involved in the the final shootout with Vilain's henchman, which also features a satisfying encounter between Jason Statham and Scott Adkins.

Sadly, the film drags itself to the lowest of the low by including some of the most cringe-worthy one-liners and in-jokes ever heard in a film. The above mentioned Chuck Norris Facts reference was inevitable and it's only mentioned once. However, the rest of the one-liners are just plain awful. Here's the two worst:

Caesar: (Handing Trench his gun) If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.

Trench: I'll be back.
Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back.
Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.

Lastly, there's a moment where the oh so "hilarious" one-liners ruin a perfectly funny comedic moment. After an attack on a village, the Expendables realise there's only one enemy soldier left. They spot him, turn around in unison, and fire away with everything they've got. What's funny is the amount of fire-power they use just to take down just one guy when a single bullet would have been enough. Straight after, though, Stallone quips the line "rest in pieces", ruining what could have been the funniest part of the film.

Though it's tainted by some of the dialogue, The Expendables 2 is overall a better film than its predecessor. It makes better use of its all-star cast, therefore improving the action in the process. I just hope they bring Van Damme back for more, he's definitely the best reason to check this film out.

Pros:
+ Having the team together for the action throughout the film.
+ Jean-Claude Van Damme as the villain.
+ Bigger and better action sequences.

Cons:
- Disappointing final one-on-one. Van Damme only lands four or five hits!?
- Those awful, AWFUL one-liners and references. 

The Expendables (2010) Review

"Next time, I'll deflate all your balls, friend" - Lee Christmas.

Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables had a lot of hype leading up  to its release, featuring cheesy one liners, plenty of violence and a plethora of action-stars. Looking back at the film five years on, did it deliver all it promised? Let's delve into this strictly masculine world of guns and explosions to find out.

The biggest thing the film had going for it was the cast. Boasting some of the action genre's biggest names, many people were looking forward to seeing their favourite heroes all in one film. What we get is an overall mixed bag. Two of the 1980's biggest stars, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, are only in one scene. At the time, Schwarzenegger was still in his political career, and so only filmed for one day. Kind of a cheat that he gets shared billing with the other stars on the DVD cover. Willis' role is more for getting the Expendables started on their mission, and providing all the exposition. Director Sylvester Stallone leads the cast as Barney Ross, along with Jason Statham as Lee Christmas. They make a good double-act, and are involved with all the action throughout the film. The rest of the heroes don't get that much focus, that is except for rogue member Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), who is briefly exiled from the team. The villains aren't as "all-star" as the heroes, with only wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin being of any relation to previous action roles (namely his career in WWE). Because of the lack of focus, seeing all the cast together isn't as awesome as one would've hoped. They seem to get their "cool moment", then disappear for more focus on Stallone more than any other.

The big problem with the film is the lack of development of the characters. Don't get me wrong, I understand the priority of the film is to deliver a spectacle of action and violence, but it is also heavily reliant on the stars of the film to get people interested in seeing it. With such a large cast, it is difficult to give time to get to know the characters with a running time of 103 minutes. However, we need to be able to care at least a little when the heroes are placed in dangerous situations. The plot doesn't really offer much in terms of getting to know the characters, just setting up the next action sequence: The Expendables are tasked to to eliminate a corrupt general and his associate, an ex-CIA agent. Throughout the film, Ross and Christmas (yes, that name is still ridiculous after all these years) discover their location and gather the rest of the team for the big final fight. It's here that most of the fan-service is dished out: what if Stone Cold and Randy Couture had a fight, in a WWE vs. UFC moment? What if Terry Crews were to wield a ridiculously large shotgun and take everyone out? All this and more in a hectic ending after a decent enough build up.

One-liners, in traditional action film style, are used in almost every instance. Some of them are enjoyable, like Jason Statham's quip after taking out a group of guys on a basketball court (see above). Others, particularly Stallone's, tread the line between witty retorts, or just plain bad. The best example of this is his scene with Schwarzenegger, where Willis asks him what Schwarzenegger's problem is as he walks away from an offer: Stallone's response is simply: "He wants to be president". A moderately funny line at the time, but it now seems very outdated and fairly cringe-worthy. That being said, the whole film seemed out-of-place at the time of release, for better or worse. It feels like an action film straight out of the 1980's, just with an ensemble cast. A good thing, then, that it doesn't try to be anything more than that. It delivered lots of action and enough self-awareness to be an overall enjoyable experience. While it certainly offers nothing new to the genre, it is an interesting piece of work that should delivered everything you expect in a film featuring this many action stars past and present.

Pros:
+ Not too self aware, meaning that the one-liners aren't overused and so allows more time for the action to continue.
+ Never a dull moment, whether it be an action sequence or simply seeing this many stars sharing a scene.
+ Enough fan-service to satisfy regular action film viewers.

Cons:
- Undeveloped heroes and villains. No matter how good the action, we have to care about the participants.
- Other than the ensemble cast, offers nothing new to the genre.